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 Post subject: Death
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:26 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:11 pm
Posts: 232
Losing my father feels like losing the training wheels on my bike.


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 Post subject: Re: Death
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2014 2:11 pm
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Liminally speaking, the space in-between. I've been sitting with my meditation teacher for a year now, sometimes I host the sits. I think we are meeting in-person soon.

Finally, finding the space between thought and reaction. More chaos emerging than ever. Infestation. A whole lot of things have gone to shit, and somewhere, in the midst of it all I'm finding room to breathe.

Sometimes I still find myself worked up over shit. In the same situations, a spiral, like three pounds of cookies and 2 bags of coffee in the mail yesterday, for a food and caffeine addict. Despite the chaos, not limited to just that, I'm finding peace, being peace, actively practicing practices that create peace, or don't create peace, but eliminate false ideas that lead away from the present moment.

Even in utter chaos, I am still standing, sober headed as fuck, still breathing, sometimes having meltdowns in front of my teacher and closer friends, the bitchy side of me is coming out the truth is emerging, from a person who creates mantra videos on YouTube. I am indeed naked, because I can't hide anymore. This shit, arising, falling, peace, arising, falling, peace, arising, falling, peace, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, and repeat, repeat, repeat.

I'm doing a silent retreat in January. I wish all of those reading this, or the no one reading this peace. Dancing in hurricanes. Love.

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